Should I tell her about my husband’s cheating?
It is interesting to hear the opinions of different people on an issue that concerns me. Is it worth telling a woman that her husband is cheating on her? I know a married couple, they live together for eighteen years, there is a child, it seems like a happy marriage. But I know that the man is constantly cheating on his wife. And he carefully hides his affairs.
His wife may sometimes try to catch him, but he always manages to get out of it. Lately she got interested in his correspondence on the Internet, she started checking his e-mail accounts, paying attention to his texts and phone calls. In other words, she cares whether her husband goes out or stays faithful only to her. And she probably feels something like that. But he gets away with it, as they say.
And even with this control from his wife does not reduce the number of his meetings with other women, managing to visit his “girlfriends” several times a week. His job is such that he is very good at finding time to date during the day, in the evenings, and at weekends. That’s the kind of man a woman got as a husband. I have absolutely no interest in breaking up this family, and I don’t need this man. So should I tell her the truth?
Does the woman need to know that all the years she’s been with her husband she hasn’t been the only one for him? That the man with whom she goes to bed, a couple of hours before that was in the arms of another? And so almost every day! Tell her or not?
In my opinion, it’s worth thinking, why would you want to do that? After all, if you ask, it means that you have a great desire to tell everything. And at the same time you are well aware that this information will not do anyone any good. So with your statements you are ready to ruin your family, to make a few people sick, and all for what? What is so attractive to you personally in this situation? Do you really want someone to get hurt? If so, it is better to see a psychologist. Usually such desires are concerned about people who have big problems in their own personal lives. And if so, then you should first deal with them, and only then think about the moral character of others. I personally think that under such circumstances, telling someone something or trying to “open their eyes” makes no sense at all. If people have been living with each other for many years, they cannot ignore the obvious. And if this is the case, the wife is well aware that her husband is going “left-handed. And if she were irreconcilable about it, she would have left long ago without any evidence. If she is looking for proof, it is only to “pin the tail on her husband,” to put pressure on him, to make him calm down at least for a while, but no more than that. So no matter how “goofy” her husband is, she is not going to divorce him. But you for such information, she will send you far away and for a long time. Well, why would you do that? No, of course, if you just really do not like her and you want to do harm, then tell. Only in this case I would once again suggest that you first go to a psychologist and sort out your own problems.
No, don’t tell. First of all, because this woman probably knows everything herself, since she regularly tries to catch him in the act. The question is whether she really wants proof of her husband’s infidelity or whether she’s doing everything she can not to get it. So, if you tell her that her husband is a philanderer, what then?
Will you earn her gratitude? I doubt it. Make her happy by opening her eyes to the fact that she spent 18 years of her life with an unfaithful husband? Not either. What will it do for you personally to shatter her illusions? What is it that annoys you personally about this family? The appearance of a happy marriage that doesn’t exist? Are you doing well in your life? Do you have a loving, faithful husband? Judging by the phrase “I don’t need this man,” on your personal front is very quiet, and the only source of emotion is watching the personal lives of other couples. In that case, it’s better to deal with your own person.
The desire to meddle in someone else’s life with the mission of “well-wisher” is not from love of truth or desire for justice. The motives here are much deeper. And most often, behind all this there is a creepy, though not always realized, desire to make others feel as bad as you do, or better yet, even worse.
Then, against this background, it is possible to feel almost happy. For example, to say to yourself: “I do not have a man, but better none than such as the husband of this unhappy. But the main thing is to make her feel unhappy, and in order to do that, you want to tell her everything. Otherwise, until she gets to the bottom of it herself … Well, Lana, I sincerely advise you not to pry into this family with your truth. No one needs it there, especially from strangers. Get busy with your life, try to make it more interesting, so you won’t want to watch the twists and turns of someone else’s life. If you were a happy woman yourself, if you were satisfied with yourself and with the way your life is going, you wouldn’t have any thoughts of watching your neighbors, much less meddling in their relationships, no matter who was cheating on whom or how many times…