Marriage seems perfect and cloudless until you enter it. Family life crises strike all couples without exception. It turns out that the relationship needs constant work, and the two of us. Joint efforts will help to preserve love, peace and harmony in the relationship.
By studying the crises of family life over the years, you can be mentally prepared and understand how to act in these situations. You can come out of any crisis even more experienced, strong and purposeful. If you go this way together, the couple will become even more united and will be able to overcome any obstacles.
Here are the crises of family life:
Crisis of 1 year of relationship
The candy and bouquet period is over, and there is no point in pretending to each other anymore. Now the true personalities and not the nicest character traits come on the scene. Why? Because we all have different habits and upbringing. Perhaps in the wife’s family it was customary to clean up after herself and wash the dishes immediately after meals. But the husband is used to putting plates in the sink and throwing socks around the house. This leads to conflicts and loud arguments.
Crisis in the marriage can be overcome if we listen to each other. Speak your desires to your partner, try to blame him or her less. Discuss what is meaningful to you and come to a compromise that suits you both. During this period it is important not to break each other, and try to understand and agree. Everything is in your hands.
The crisis of 3 years of marriage
It is believed that this is the period when most divorces occur. The crisis of family life is accompanied by negative emotions, when the spouse is trying to control your actions and desires. You want to have something of your own, personal space.
Rose-colored glasses fell off, and you have already rubbed up against each other. But now you do not have enough air, freedom, you zealously guard their own boundaries. At the same time, many women already want a child, but her spouse is not ready to have it.
How to survive such crises in marriage?
1. Recall why you created the family. Surely you wanted to be with this person. You are no longer alone, so the obligation to listen to the feelings and opinions of your partner.
2. Try to spend time together, arrange surprises, try to diversify everyday life.
Don’t try to control everything your partner, give him personal space.
Crisis of young parents
The coveted first-born is not an easy test for the couple. Most often such family crises occur in the fourth year of marriage. Pregnancy and childbirth lead to the fact that the woman is fully immersed in motherhood and forgets about her husband. Men do not develop fatherly instinct immediately, and if you hear from his wife’s reproaches, then he feels completely unnecessary. For this reason infidelity often occurs.
Remember that this is your child together, so it should raise him together. Give your spouse more time to spend with the baby, to help in the home.
Men should understand that his wife does not feel the former attractiveness, and may complex after childbirth. Show care and attention, show that his wife is still desirable. Find time to be alone together, leaving the child with his grandmother.
The crisis of 5 years of marriage.
During this period, women usually go to work after maternity leave, and the struggle to share responsibilities begins. At first, it is difficult to combine professional and domestic activities. Therefore, the wife becomes irritable, gets very tired and exhausted mentally. In addition, sexual life becomes monotonous, and the interests of the spouses may not coincide, which alienates them from each other.
How to overcome the crisis in the relationship of 5 years? Listen to the advice of those who have managed to overcome the crisis:
You can and should agree on everything. Do not put a question in a straightforward way, escalating the conflict, and try to find a compromise.
2. Divide responsibilities for the house, decide who will pick up the child from kindergarten.
Find a common language is easier than constantly quarreling over domestic issues.
The crisis of 7 years of marriage
This is one of the most dangerous crises. All problems are already solved, and conflicts are resolved. The relationship is quiet and smooth. What is wrong? Partners want variety, and the usual routine is already bored. If a man has a mistress, then his situation suits him, but women – most often not.
Such crises in family life is not uncommon. Spouses want variety, but at the same time they do not want to leave the familiar place.
It is worth frankly talk to your partner and not locked in a shell. Discuss what suits you both, perhaps together you can find a solution. Go on vacation together, enjoy the interaction, bring a fresh color to life. An affair on the side can bring new experiences, but you run the risk of losing all the good things that you once had in common.
Family crises 14 years.
These types of crises in marriage are dangerous because they coincide with the transition age of children. Also, many men and women enter a midlife crisis.
As a result, children asserting their independence causes worry. At the same time, the man feels no longer young, but not yet old. His behavior he may resemble a teenager. Women begin to wonder if the man they gave the best years of his life.
To overcome such stages of family life, do not immerse yourself in negativity:
1. Try to find a positive in any events, take up a hobby or find an interesting hobby.
2. Partners above all should attract each other as a man and a woman. Therefore, wives need to take better care of themselves and do everything to bring back the sparkle in their eyes.
Marriage crises: adult children
Family life and the emergence of children are so twisted spouses that when they wake up after many years, they realize: we are very different people. Here you spend years putting a child on his or her feet, paying for school, finding a place to live.
Here is a son or daughter leaving home and becoming independent, and the partners are left alone with each other. What to do? What is there to talk about? It turns out that there are no more common interests, and, except for the child, you do not connect anything else.
Are you familiar with such family crises? Psychology says that there is no need to rush to part. It is better if you do so:
1. Spend time together, get to know each other anew. Now you have a lot of experience under your belt, which you can use to your advantage.
2. Find common interests, classes. Many couples start dancing, go on trips. This is a great time to live life at your own pleasure.
Relationship crises do not catch spouses unawares, most often they come gradually. Claims and negativity accumulate, especially if life together does not seem happy. Think about what attracted you to your partner and for what you joined his fate.
Looking at family crises by year, you can understand what still awaits you, and what – already passed phase. If the couple has gone through all the hardships together, then they are assured of a happy old age, filled with memories.